68 lines
3.5 KiB
Plaintext
68 lines
3.5 KiB
Plaintext
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[ File Taken from Silicon Valley (504)-241-3452 10mBBS 300/1200 ]
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%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%
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% - How to have fun with MicroWave ovens - %
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% %
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% An NDC/Thought Police file written by King Rough and Lord Cartigan %
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%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%
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You've all seen those Microwave ovens sitting in deceptively vulnerable
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places, like Student Unions, Lounges, Vending Areas and maybe even that
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"friend" who "accidentally" erased your hard drive last week's house...
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Step 1: Make sure the coast is clear of all un-wanted audience, like
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rent-a-cops, unsuspected janitorial personell, your parents, FBI
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agents, and anyone who might possibly want to use the Microwave for
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constructive (gasp!) purposes..
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Step 2: Deciding just exactly what you're going to do. THIS is half the
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fun..
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- There's usually a good supply of neatly sealed ketchup & mustard packets in
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some unsuspecting box on some vending machine or another. It's always good
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humor to take the entire* box, dump it on the botton of the Microwave, crank
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it HIGH for the maximum time, and sit a few yards away to watch the
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expression on the next guy's face who tries to use it..
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- Vending machine are used by inherently sloppy people, so theres bound to be
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an abundant supply of left over pop and such slime in the general erea. You
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collect all of this and dump it into an old, used yogurt cup, and put the
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top on real* tight. (It helps to have a handy tube of super glue from your
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favorite local hardware store to give a little added sealling effect) Just
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drop it in the Microwave and crank it on HIGH and stand back..
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- This next technique is devoted to to true property-destroying, anarchistic
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vandal. Find as much PURE metal (NOT* alluminum, Sometimes is works though)
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as you can, pile it in the microwave, and turn it on HIGH. If it has a nice
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glass panel on the door, you'll be treated to a spectacular set of
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fireworks, and better yet the microwave will be in the shop for a week to
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ten days!
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Step 3: Hope that no one decides to come by and does something drastic like
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threaten to report you to the local athorities. But! If they do
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you'll nedd a quick set of excuses. Like:
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- "I forgot that blowing up microwaves was illegal."
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"The KGB forced me to!"
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"I'm special agent Smith on Special assignment 'Testing Microwaves'."
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"Fuck you ass-wipe!" (Remember to run like hell after using this one.)
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"Oh shit! I have to catch my bus... Later!"
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"I wanted some HOT catsup for my hotdog, and we didn't have a microwave at
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my house!"
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"I'm doing a physics project on the effects of Microwaves on <Whatever
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method you used>.."
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"My Mommy said to!"
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"They said they'd beat me up if I didn't!"
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"I'm testing new ways of feeding thousands of Ethiopians."
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- If all else fails, Kick 'em in the balls and run like hell!
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Following these steps to the letter will ensure a fun and exciting weekend
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and mabye a few trashed Microwaves.
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Call these awesome boards:
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The Great White North - [612] 489-8657 KrackLine - [612] 484-5925
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Airstrip One - [612] 535-9425 Swamp Castle CF - [612] 452-7967
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Pleasuredome CF - [612] 488-2599 Digital Domain - [313] 399-9472
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