81 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
81 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
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WAYS TO GET YOUR WOMAN PISSED!!
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-------------------------------
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Written by: YNGWIE(SYSOP) and SPERMIE(CO-SYSOP) OF... THE CENTRE OF ETERNITY
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(609)-767-8569
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A Black September/cDc Presentation
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*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
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While she's going down on you, read the newspaper.
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Tell her that one breast is larger than the other.
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Refuse to have sex on the grounds that you are saving yourself for the right
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woman.
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Immediately after intercourse, open the door and shout into the hallway,'Okay,
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, who's next?'
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Ask her if she's in the mood for cunnilingus. If she says yes, say, 'Well, I'm not.'
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Put her diaphragm on top of your head and walk into the nearest synagogue.
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Tape-record one of your sexual sessions, then play it back for the
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guests at your next dinner part
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Strap her bra to your head and pretend that you're a World War I flying ace.
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Hide her month's supply of birth control pills in twenty-eight different places.
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Call her up from work and tell her you want to do it 'doggie-style' when you
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get home. Bring home a great dane with you.
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After having intercourse, slide in a ten-dollar bill into her hand, and say,
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'Same time tomorrow?'
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After a long, romantic kiss, ask her when was the last time she trimmed her
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nose hairs.
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Work up a good imitation of her having an orgasm.
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Tell her that you want to watch her masturbate. When she's in the middle of
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it, start laughing.
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Ask her why she doesn't fill up with water when she takes a bath.
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Tell her she has a birth-mark in a place she can't see.
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Stick tampons in your nostrils, and imitate a walrus.
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Make a sling-shot out of her panties.
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Tie her to the bed, and tell her all the erotic things you are going to do
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to her. Then go bowling.
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While performing cunnilingus, just before she goes over the brink, stop,
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say 'I'll finish later.' Then roll over and go to sleep.
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After insertion, break out in a sweat, put on a concerned look, and say, 'I'm
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stuck.'
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Walk her up to a cop and tell him that she keeps on making suggestive
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comments.
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When she doesn't have an orgasm, say, 'Oh, stop complaining. Women don't have
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orgasms.'
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Ask her if you can have some of her vaginal juices so you can work on your
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spitball.
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Suggest that both of you shave your pubic hair. After she does it, point,
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laugh, and refuse to shave your own.
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Tell her that feminists are ugly.
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While having intercourse, fake a heart attack
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At the moment you shoot off, scream your mother's name.
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Call her up from work and tell her that you want to try a threesome when
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you get home. Bring home her X-husband.
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While seeming to be preoccupied, insert your cigar into her vagina and say,
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'Hold this for a sec, will ya?'
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Tell her that you think it's time the two of you started going out with other
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people. After she consents, ask her if she'll fix you up with some of her
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friends.
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Tell her that her mother called while she was out and asked her if
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nymphomania runs in the family.
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Grab one of her nipples and say, 'Okay, now who's going to take out the
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trash?'
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While walking down the street, scream at her, 'A hundred bucks a night? Since
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when?' and walk away.
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(Optional statement to be spoken with suprise: 'Come on, the whole footballteam??)
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=======================================
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==================================
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This has been a Black September/cDc
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Presentation. All rights worth shit.
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Thanks Yngwie
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and Spermie
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Distributed in part by:
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Skeleton Crue 415-376-8060 located out of Moraga, California.
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!!Get on the band wagon before it RUNS YOU DOWN!!
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Headquarters for Computer Hackers and Anarchists to Overthrow Society
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(CH&AOS)
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