120 lines
6.8 KiB
Plaintext
120 lines
6.8 KiB
Plaintext
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Fun things to do to stupid neighbors
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by: Delta Burke
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This little article is everyone out there who is a next door neighbor who
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is, in your mind, the worlds biggest asshole. I have neighbors that fit
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into this catergory perfectly. You know the ones, stereo up louder than
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hell in the middle of the night, water their lawn during a drought, etc...
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Well take heart, because I have just the answer for such idiots.
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1) Next time they go away on vacation, or even for just the weekend, call
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the utility company, Ma Bell(or whoever the phone co is.), and the cable<6C>
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company. Using their name(obviously), tell them to shut off the
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respective utilities, since your are going on a trip for about a month.
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Most of the time, they wont ask for any other info except for phone
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number. If they ask for anything else, just hangup quickly and forget it<69>
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as it isnt too easy to explain why you dont know your own social
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security number. If all works well(and it usually does), they will come
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home to a fridge full of bad food, plus no heat or air conditioning and
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cable tv and phone. Pretty nice, huh?
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2) If they leave on vacation, and you are a hacker/phreak/BBS'er, here is
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your chance for free phone calls to everywhere! Simply go into their
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yard and locate their phone box. Using your lineman's phone(or a regular<61>
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phone with alligator clips instead of a modular plug), find the active
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phone line inside the box. Run a shit load of wire back to your house,
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thru your window, etc... Install a modular plug on your end and plug it
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into your modem. Now make all the long distance calls you want. Don't
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worry, those of your with a heart, the neighbor's wont get billed for
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the calls after they call Ma Bell and claim that they didnt make them.
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Most of the time they will let you of the hook.
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3) One night, after the neighborhood is asleep, sneak over into the
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target's yard. Proceed to turn on ONE faucet, so that water is gushing
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out all over the place. The value of this joke is that the target's
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water bill will be outrageous after about 3-4 nights of this, especially<6C>
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during drought season.
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4) If you have the asshole neighbor who has the stereo on LOUD at all hours
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and the police wont do shit(what else is new), here is the solution.
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Sneak into the yard, and find the breakerbox. If the stereo is up this
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loud, they wont hear you in the yard. Locate the switch that matches the
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room that the stereo is in. Or the closest to. Flip the switch and run
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like hell back to the house. Or if you are more daring, sit in the
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bushes oe something and watch them come out. Most of the time, it will
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take doing this 2-3 times before they turn down the stereo.But its worth<74>
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it when you have to sleep.
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5) Do your neighbor's have a barking dog? If so, heres the solution.
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A) Call the pound repeatedly, using another neighbor's name and address,<2C>
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but your number. Call at least twice a night for about a week. The
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complaints will stack up, and the target's will most likely have to pay
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a healthy fine.
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B) Get a package of hot dogs and any kind of medicine that induces
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shitting, like Exlax(you will have to melt it down). Pour the secret
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agent shit inducing substance on the hot dogs, then toss them over the
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fence to the dog. If it is a small dog, I suggest throwing one at a time<6D>
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as little dogs don't eat as much as big dogs. Spot or Fido or whatever
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the hell his name is will be shitting EVERYWHERE for days. Loads of fun
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for the target.
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6) Kill their lawn. This can be achieved with any kind of poison, paint
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thinner, or even piss. Simply pour as much of the stuff as you can all over<65>
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the lawn and wait a few days to a week. Lovely brown spots will start to
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show. Nice effect.
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7) Do they have a CB radio that interferes with your tv?
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Use the old standby. When they are not home, sneak over and shove large
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straight pins into the coaxial cable to the antenna. Next time Joe
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Dickhead keys up will be his last time. This easy trick works due to the<68>
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fact that it shorts the cable together. When he keys up, it will blow
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the CB right off the table.
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8) Do they park in your driveway or in front of it? My neighbors have
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teenage kids who have teenage friends who parked in front of the
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driveway. I fixed that by taking some large nails(about 4 inches long)
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and placed them on each side of their tires at a 45 degree angle. Two
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per side, heads on pavement, points to tires. When they drive off,
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instant flats on all four tires. Try to get them to not park there
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asking first. If they don't care to listen, then use the nail trick.
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9) Other easy and annoying tricks:
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Use JB Weld or any other metal weld substance on their mailbox door.
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Unscrew all the light bulbs on the outside of their house just enough so<73>
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they won't light.
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If they have an annoying cat, capture it and take it about 10 miles away<61>
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from where you live and let it go.
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Get some cow or horse shit and place it in a large paper bag. Place on
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porch and light on fire. Then ring door bell.
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If they have a hot tub or pool, get some goldfish and place them in it.
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If you can get some lake or river fish, they work even better.
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Place small rocks inside the hubcaps on their most used car. The effect
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is awesome. They will go crazy from the sound.
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If you get into their car, place a heavy guage jumper wire from the horn<72>
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to the brake switch behind the pedal. The result is the horn honking
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everytime they step on the brake pedal. A sure fire winner.
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If you are daring, capture a skunk and let it loose in their yard. Just
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think about the fun this one can make.
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Have fun and don't get caught! Delta Burke Jan 1991
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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Another file downloaded from: The NIRVANAnet(tm) Seven
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& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Taipan Enigma 510/935-5845
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Burn This Flag Zardoz 408/363-9766
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realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 510/527-1662
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Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 801/278-2699
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The New Dork Sublime Biffnix 415/864-DORK
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The Shrine Rif Raf 206/794-6674
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Planet Mirth Simon Jester 510/786-6560
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"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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