58 lines
2.5 KiB
Plaintext
58 lines
2.5 KiB
Plaintext
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Fun things to do to an asshole's car---By Delta Burke
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1) Get inside the car and run a jumper wire from the brake switch to the
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horn, positive side. Use heavy guage wire(12 or better) with crimp hoop
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type connectors to insure a good connection. This trick will result in
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the horn honking everytime they step on the brakes.
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2) An easy one: Take the distributor cap off and either remove the rotor or
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pull it off and replace it in another position. Results in the car either
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not running or running like shit...
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3) Get under the hood and re-arrange the spark plug wires. Provides many
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hours of amusment.
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4) Loosen the slack bolt on the bracket that tightens the belt for the
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alternator. Move the bracket inwards an inch or two, then re-tighten the
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bolt. This will result in a late dead battery.
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5) Place small rocks in the wheel covers of all four tires. Remember to use<73>
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VERY tiny ones and large ones will be noticed if they remove the covers.
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6) A more dangerous trick: Loosen all the lug nuts or just take them off
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and replace the wheel covers. Results are pretty obvious.
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7) Another good one: Place very long nails, two per side, at a 45 degree
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angle with the points in toward the tire.
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8) Dangerous: Remove the retainer nut and bolt on the steering wheel. It is<69>
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usually covered by the horn, so it wont be very obvious until they try to<74>
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turn the car...
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9) Very Cruel: Get under the car and back the oil pan plug out until it is
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just hanging by the last thread or two. The vibrations will back it out
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the rest of the way.
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10) Also try the last trick with the transmission. Or better is the rear
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axle. There is a drain plug for the gear oil on the bottom.
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11) For the gas tank: Sugar, sand or water all work VERY well for an
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effective trick.
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12) Dead animals in the engine compartment, on or near the engine smell
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just wonderful when the engine warms up. Also, a fresh road kill in the
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spare tire space works VERY good.
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13) On the same note, a live skunk in the car with the windows up almost
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all the way(so it wont die) will provide hours of fun. Good luck in
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catching that skunk.
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14) Drill a series of very small holes in the exhaust line after the
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muffler. Or better is drilling a hole or two in the muffler itself.
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15) Dangerous: Take a razor blade to the brake lines.
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++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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Delta Burke 1991
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