156 lines
9.0 KiB
Plaintext
156 lines
9.0 KiB
Plaintext
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the glue ball bbs----------312-465-hack
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barney badass's b-files
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---------------------------------------
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//////////////b-file #1////////////////
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the code of the verbal warrior,or,
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barney's bitch war manual
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so you log onto a board and make a bee-line for your favorite
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sub-board.some people love pirate boards,some people like phreak boards. my
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passion is the trusty old standby,the bitch board.
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so you get in the 'argument den', or 'discussion board',or'nuclear bitch-
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fare'and start looking around for someone who you think you can out-rank.you
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know,insult,cut down,and generally verbally abuse. and so you post,and,next
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thing you know,somebody appears to hate your guts. you've got an enemy. now
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what?
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the main problem with 85% of all bitching that goes on on boards today, is
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that people just don't know how to handle the answer to that question. now
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what? do i keep it up? do i give up? do i insult his mother?
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barney's bitch tip #1------- make up yor mind. either take the bitching
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completely seriously,or do not take it seriously at all. if you find yourself
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grinning at insults thrown at you by your opponent,then either cut it out
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immediately,or try grinning even wider when you're typing your reply. the
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benefit of this is that you can't be affected one way or the other by any thing
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that your opponent says.if you're taking it seriously,then you just keep glaring
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at your monitor,and remain determined to grind the little filth into submission.
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if you're using the lighthearted approach,then it's pretty dif- ficult to get
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annoyed by any kind of reference towards your mother/some chains/and the family
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dog,because,remember,you're not taking this seriously!
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barney's bitch tip #2-------- make damn well sure that you're not falling into
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a trap. what's a trap? well,a trap is something that someone in a position of
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power(usually a sysop) sets when he/she thinks you need to be 'put in your
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place'. i could not tell you about this if i had not experienced it myself..so
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learn from my own mistake --lord chaos,sysop of utopia bbs is not to be trusted.
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probably no sysop who is under the age of 18 and starts their name with 'lord'
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is to be trusted,but that's a different story. (nothing per- sonal,pat.) more
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on traps later.
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barney's bitch tip#3-------- to bitch effectively and with class, you need a
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certain talent. you either have it or you don't,and that talent is the ability
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to write. think of it this way-if you don't think that you could write
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something like...well,let's see-well,something like a g-file,then chances are
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you are going to be made to look rather silly. a general rule of thumb
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concerning bitching is,the better the command of the english lan- guage,the
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better the bitching. and i'm not talking about the infamous john- athan lewin
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school of saturate-the- enemy-with-3.8-metric-tons-of-extreme- ly-long-words,but
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rather the instinct to know when to be direct;ie-'so-and-so ,eat shit and
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die',or to be a bit more clever like:'what does so-and-so and the male sex organ
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have in common? they're both dicks!'. not the best ex- ample,but you should be
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getting the point.
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barney's bitch tip#4------- this is tied in with tip #3--well-pol- ished
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writing skills are a must,but almost equally as important is the ab- ility to
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spell. for myself,nothing assures me of victory more than seeing the misguided
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fool who took me on spell like a romper room dropout. the most common screw
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ups(and the most sick- ening) are along the lines of spelling you're,'your',and
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other such blatant gaffes. 3 lines into a message and you can tell immediately
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if you are deal- ing with an idiot. but,in the same vein ,be careful at how
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quick you judge-- typing errors are different than spel- ling errors...even i
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stopped editing my msgs.(except in real extreme cases) months ago. the key to
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looking good when bitching is to know your oppon- ent's weaknesses. if spelling
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is one, then exploit it mercilessly. but you'd better make damn well sure that
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he doesn't catch you doing the same thing.
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barney's bitch tip#5------- *the advantages and disadvantages of multiple
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wars.*
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when bitching with victory in mind,it is vital that you retain control in the
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exchange-i.e.;make him respond to you more than you respond to him,get and stay
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in the position where you can con- sistently talk down to your opponent, things
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like that. control is the key. lose it,and you're in trouble. an efficient
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way to keep control on your side,is,of course,thru having al- lies(if the
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opponent is particularly tough). my word on this is as follows; when bringing
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neutrals into a 1-on-1 war,you'd better make damn well sure who you're dealing
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with,just as you should know the ins and outs of your opponent. bbs'ers are
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fickle,fickle people. ------------------------- ------
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the reason i underline this is because i can't possibly stress this enough.
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in other words,a little paranoia never hurt anybody--trust practically no-one.
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when assuming this attitude,you can save face if a verbal dagger flung from the
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keyboard of a once-ally hap- pens to find its way to your back.
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unfortunately,there's nothing much even the best bitcher can do when dealt odds
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stacked by the bitchers most cov- ert enemy:the sysop. the sysop and the sysop
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alone has the power to set the trap that no hi-egoed verbal soldier can escape
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from...if he/she feels like it,the target could find himself facing;
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mysteriously disappearing messages a strange and sudden lack of allies and,an
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army of new opponents,never seen or heard of before.... these tactics,are,of
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course,the trap that i referred to back in tip#2-- using this method,the sysop
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and his cronies(the new opponents,a few of which are undoubtedly the sysop him-
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self),once you,as the bitcher have taken up the false challenge,proceed to flood
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the bitch board with messages ,and while yours mysteriously go bye- bye,wow!
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you've 'lost'! it is this type of'loss'that is inesc- cpable. if you're good
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enough,you can figure out the scam before you look too stupid,but your rep(if
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you have one) is damaged.know your sysop like you would know your enemy! he may
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be your enemy! --
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barney's bitch tip#6--------- using the above methods,you should now be able
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to definitively tell the class of your opponent. but you should also know the
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class of the conflict you are in. in my experience,there are 3 types of
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conflicts. **gee,barney,what are those 3 types?** well,i'm glad you asked
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that-they are; discussions,arguments and wars
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discussions usually are free of any hate(real or simulated),and usually center
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around relatively minor topics. a good example of a discussion would be
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something like;'does big business des- erve the millions of dollars damage we
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hacks and phreaks cause it every week? well,we all know the answer to that,but
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it's still a good example of a pot- ential discussion.
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an argument is something like the clas- sic oct-nov '84 greek inn bbs election
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discussion--is ronald reagan extremely dangerous or just incredibly stupid? as
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you can tell,something like that is bound to bring about some strong verb-
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age,but usually not directed against one specific user of the board from an-
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other user.
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wars are the exchanges where you find out such interesting things as'your mom
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still owes me money for the 10 minutes of heaven i gave her last night',or,
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'your dad told me to tell you that he can't find the whip,so you can't sleep
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with him tonight',or similar 10-year- old level sickening drivel.when you hapen
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onto a war like this,just do your best not to parachute down to the level that
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most bitchers are on,and carry on in the tradition of wit,not shit.good,fun,and
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funny wars have in- telligent bitchers. be one,don't just watch!
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so that about ends this b-file #1-my personal war manual. hope you found it
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ever-so-educational....look for fur- ther b-files in the coming weeks. oh, and
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just so you know,these are the verbal warriors of chicago--the ones to beat;
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myself,vid kidz,scarlet armadillo,rum runner,and radical rick. good day.
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======================================= barney badass's b-files////b-file#1 nov.
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1984 ======================================= call the university bbs- check bbs
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list for #
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(if you dig these b-files,and want them for your board,or perhaps wish to con-
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tact me,leave feedback on the : glue ball bbs->->312-465-hack
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barney.
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=/=/surfware/=/=/=
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=/=/=/defoliants/=/=/=/=
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v e r b a l
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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_ ___ _ the _ _ __ P>rogressive U>nderground
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And as this textfile | ||__ \ | | | | | ||_ \ D>issidents
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rolls off the screen, | | __) )| | | | | | \ \ 3 1 3 - 4 3 3 - 3 1 6 4
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you realize instantly | ||___/ | | | | | | ) ) 300/1200 Baud
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the place to get more | | | |___| | | | _/ / 20 Megs of TextFiles
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like it.. |_| \_____/ |_||__/ SysOp: Mr. Pez
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