164 lines
9.0 KiB
Plaintext
164 lines
9.0 KiB
Plaintext
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How to Become an Unsuccessful, Burned-Out SysOp
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It seems as if everyone who gets a modem and calls bulletin
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boards toys with the idea of running his own BBS at some time.
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The plain truth is that bulletin boards come and go with alarming
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regularity. A few stick around, but for every one that reaches
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its second birthday, five will appear and vanish. Here are a few
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simple tips to insure that your effort at running at bulletin
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board places you in the majority.
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PINCH PENNIES - You spent thousands on a computer. It's silly
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to spend more than $1.98 for a BBS program. You might even find
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one for free. After all, if cheap is good, free must be better.
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Be sure to shop for a rock-bottom price on a modem, too. It
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doesn't matter if no one ever heard of that brand before...they
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will before you are through.
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SCHIZOPHRENIA IS THE ORDER OF THE DAY - Keep 'em guessing. Try
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at least a dozen different BBS program...after you officially
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open your system. That will keep the callers on their toes. You
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wouldn't want to be predictable. Change things around constant-
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ly...menus, screens, the flow from section to section. You
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really don't like it when callers use logon scripts anyway.
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SPEAKING OF BEING PREDICTABLE - Make your board part time.
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Change the hours frequently. Part of the adventure of calling a
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BBS is finding out what hours it operates. Pick strange ones:
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noon to 3 pm Tuesday and Thursday, 6 am to noon Monday, Wednesday
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and Friday, Midnight to 6 am weekends, except national holidays
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and the third Tuesday in September.
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DON'T WASTE MONEY ON A SECOND PHONE LINE - You don't need it for
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a part time board. You meet such interesting people who call at
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3 a.m. looking for a modem tone. You did want to meet interest-
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ing people, didn't you?
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TAKE THE BBS DOWN WHENEVER THE NOTION STRIKES YOU - After all, it
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is your computer. So what if you want to play Tetris at 8 pm.
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The callers can just listen to a busy signal for a while.
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BE RUDE TO YOUR CALLERS - They're all schmucks who don't know
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anything. You don't have to be polite to them. Do your best Don
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Rickles imitation when they ask questions. Call them names and
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make fun of them because they don't know all about protocols and
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modems and such. After all, you know everything about them...
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don't you? Dump them in mid-call because they take too long to
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read the menus and messages...or just because you want to use the
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computer.
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MAKE IT A DELIGHTFUL MAZE - Make your menus so complex that a PhD
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couldn't find his way around your BBS. Hide the files in obscure
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corners and give the commands strange names. While you're at it,
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build in some "black holes" to really confound the users. Then
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complain bitterly if people just hang up instead of logging off
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properly.
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Follow these simple rules and I can guarantee you will join the
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vast majority of BBSs that fade into the sunset within months or
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even weeks of starting up. Now, obviously, these are not serious
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tips. Quite the opposite is true. There is much more to running
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a BBS than just slapping a program and a modem on your computer
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and waiting for the phone to ring. Let's look instead at some
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positive suggestions to help make your efforts successful.
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IT PAYS TO BUY QUALITY - Ever wondered why that free software is
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free? Could it be because it is so bad the author couldn't get
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anyone to pay for it? How about that generic, "bargain" modem.
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Why is it so cheap? Old technology? Inferior parts? Poor
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workmanship? Want to bet on how long it will last? Good soft-
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ware can make the difference between a dream and a nightmare when
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it comes to being a SysOp. Same thing for reliable hardware.
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You DID spend thousands for the computer...so spend a hundred or
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so for decent, reliable software and protect that investment. It
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won't do much for the reputation of a new BBS if it is constantly
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off-line for various malfunctions.
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CHANGE IS OK, BUT IT MUST BE FOR A REASON - Callers like change,
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but they also like the familiar. Make changes slowly and delib-
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erately. If radical changes are unavoidable, warn your callers
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ahead of time. Make sure you are truly ready before you open
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your system to the world. Callers get discouraged when they have
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to log in as new users 4 times in 4 weeks because you keep exper-
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imenting with new programs. Most of them won't complain,
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they'll just quit calling.
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KEEP IT SIMPLE - Incredibly complex BBSs appeal mostly to the
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"hacker" types. Are these the people you want on your computer?
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Most folks want a BBS that is simple and logical, with commands
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that make sense and are easily remembered. That still leaves
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plenty of room for creativity and originality.
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BE ORIGINAL - OK, you have your brand new BBS up. It's plain,
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vanilla RBBS software, right out of the distribution files. They
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even had those neat screens and menus in there all ready to go.
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Now you sit back and wait for the callers to ooh and aah over
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your lovely system. Don't hold your breath. Everyone got tired
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of those screens long ago. Come up with something fresh. Call
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distant BBSs and get ideas. Don't steal whole screens intact
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unless the SysOp has packaged them for distribution. Even then,
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make a few changes to make them your very own. This is one of
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the best ways to demonstrate to callers that there really is
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something special about your BBS.
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SHOULD YOUR BBS HAVE A "THEME?" - Maybe. That's the best answer
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I can give. Some theme and special purpose BBSs are very suc-
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cessful, but the world probably doesn't need another BBS based on
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Dungeons & Dragons. If you are going to give your system a
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theme, make sure it is one that will be interesting to most
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callers.
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GIVE THE CALLERS WHAT THEY WANT - within reason. Listen to what
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your users have to say about the system. ASK them what they like
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and don't like. If the majority of them hate a particular fea-
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ture, get rid of it. If most of them want something you don't
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have, try to get it. Remember, they have choices. There are
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plenty of other modems out there waiting to answer the phone.
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MAKE IT AVAILABLE AS ADVERTISED - part time boards rarely suc-
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ceed. Some stay around through sheer inertia...just because it's
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too much trouble to take them down. Hardly anyone calls these
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boards for long...especially if the operating hours are bizarre
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and irregular. If it must be part time, make it regular. 24
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hours is always best. Frankly, if you can't make the commitment
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to a separate phone line, you really aren't ready to run a BBS.
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The same goes for using the computer yourself...you promised it
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would be available at certain hours. Unless there is a real
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emergency, you aren't living up to a commitment unless you have
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it on-line for the promised hours.
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TREAT YOUR CALLERS LIKE FRIENDS AND WELCOME GUESTS - After all,
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YOU invited these people into your home! It's true, some callers
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are brainless twits. There have always been people like that and
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there always will be. But remember, for every jerk that calls,
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there are 9 or 10 really nice, interesting people. Concentrate
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on the good folks and ignore the clowns...sooner or later they
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will get tired and go away.
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THINK ABOUT THE KIND OF BBS YOU LIKE TO CALL - Your callers
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probably like the same things. Analyze the other BBSs you call.
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What do you like about each? What do you dislike? Do you feel
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welcome on some and like an intruder on others? Why? How will
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someone else feel after calling your board? Will they want to
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call again?
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HAVE PATIENCE - Be patient while your BBS builds a following with
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the callers. It may take months before the traffic is at the
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level you anticipated. Be patient too with inexperienced users.
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Help them learn instead of harassing them. Did you appreciate
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sarcasm and wisecracks when you asked "dumb" questions as a
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beginner? Everyone is a beginner sometime.
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Keep these tips in mind and you will find that your BBS grows and
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succeeds while countless others come and go. Why? Because you
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treat callers with respect and consideration! Because you make
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them feel welcome. Because you really care about what they like
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and dislike. Because you put yourself in their place and look at
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the situation as they do.
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Does all of this sound like a lot of work? You're right. It
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takes a lot of effort to run a popular and successful BBS. But
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the rewards of meeting new people, making new friends, seeing
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other points of view, make it all worthwhile.
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