128 lines
6.5 KiB
Plaintext
128 lines
6.5 KiB
Plaintext
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-----------
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Anarchy Inc ...presents...
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----------- B00G and the art of ZEN
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Written under strictly controlled conditions April 1986..
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By those rather daft people at the Darque Side. Call today. I insist.
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<>--------------------------------------------------------------------------<>
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"Bunny farts? What? Me worry?" --Ron S. VanZuylen, Sunnyvale, CA.
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<>--------------------------------------------------------------------------<>
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The other day a friend of mine came up to me and asked a question which
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I hadn't a clear answer to. "What is Boog?" What, indeed, is boog?
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That's a damn good question.
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Let's avoid discussing this for a moment or two so we can collect our
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thoughts and remember from exactly which dusty, half-hidden pothole this
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concept first emerged.
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/-----------\
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! Hey ! <-- Assuming we had both the time and money to invest in
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! misstah ! discussing silly useless things like little cute boxes
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! wanna ! ingraciously stuck in such ungodly places as the centers
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! buy ! of textfiles, perhaps the thing that would strike us as
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! a ! most important is the shape of the box, and not, as we
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! duck? ! would assume, the contents inside. ..(author)
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\-----------/
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Feh, Monty Python, Pink Floyd, Opus, The Hallelujiah Chorus, The William
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Tell Overture, Benny Hill, Ed, Ned (not Ed), 8, 88. Who are these people,
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these things, and why have they assumed importance (or have they assumed
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<EFBFBD>importance?) Most likely a question would be "How can I get money out of
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this?" I can't tell how you will get $, but you can send your $ to me, c/o
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this Ascii Express. But this confuses, and we digress.
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<>--------------------------------------------------------------------------<>
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"Quote? What do you want a lousy quote for?" -Eric C. Thompson, on drugs.
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<>--------------------------------------------------------------------------<>
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/-----------\ Truly. Perhaps it is that most of us here at Anarchy Inc.
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! nEFr ! to a point digress beyond the reasonable limit established
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! eEt ! by the men in dark sunglasses for silly textfiles.
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! kAT !
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! FuD ! We can start by asking ourselves 'What does Boog mean?', but,
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! wILe ! as it turns out, the more expedient course of action is to
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! oN ! ponder the question, Why 'Boog?'. The answer is, of course,
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! aSid. ! Lite Beer. The proof of this is beyond the present scope of
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! ! this file and involves the solution of a number of indeter-
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! -Havoc ! minate differential equations.
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! T. !
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! Chaos ! ----- "But so what?" you ask. -----
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\-----------/
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Now this is all well and good, but the meaning of Boog has little, if
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any, to do with Lite Beer. To solve this puzzle we must delve into a field
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entirely different from any we have previously encountered in our daily
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experience. Look above you. Can you see the sky or is your view impeded by
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the crinkly off-white of an acoustic ceiling? The frosty neutral glare of a
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fluorescent lightbulb? Ceramic tile? Or perhaps, you can see the stars,
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staring back down from a height more remote than the sun.
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/--------------\
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! !
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! box. ! ----- Box. The way of Zen, explained. -----
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! !
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\--------------/
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The Master Yao-shan, upon being asked 'What is the Way?' had answered, 'A
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cloud in the sky and water in the jug!' A quick drive up to San Francisco to
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an art gallery (or a waffle factory, for that matt<74>er) will verify the truth of
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this once and for all, and how this relates to Boog can be found hanging on
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the wall in the Smithsonian.
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Zen is the art of perceiving the world as it is without trying nor even
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wanting to understand it. Boog is the manifestation of this in the daily life
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of your average modem user. Boog doesn't make sense, it doesn't have to. All
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that is required is for you to perceive it.
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(As a minor footnote, of late there has been much confusion and
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hullaballoo concerning the spelling and proper punctuation of the word boog.
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Committees have met, polls have been taken, votes have been counted, decisions
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have been made, and the verdict is in: Capitalized. 0's as in B00G permitted
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only if G is capitalized. Lately the alternative form b00g has seemed to have
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gained some acclaim. Best used in the context "Boog?", "Boog." or "Boog!".
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Alas poor Boog, I knew him well..)
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Boog is a boog thing. This sentence does not talk about itself, it does
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not concern itself with much of anything. It is content to just be. Little
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relevance is applied to the fact that I am not sticking to the subject matter.
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Lemmings need not stick to their subject matter; they are free to run off to
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god-knows-where to do god-knows-what to god-knows-which other <20>lemmings for
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god-knows-why and then -poof-, he washes up onshore. Sad, but the lemming did
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not seem to so think. Similarly the frozen linguini becomes thawed hence
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rendering it edible, but not on a popsicle. Until you understand this
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paragraph you are forbidden to continue. I insist.
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But what has this to do with Zen? Zen is neZ spelt backwards, but alas
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that gives little consolance. Were I to be a Maharishi-ite, I would tell you
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how the Grand Forces of the Unified field combine to ..well.. let things
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happen. But I am not and I will not so you're out of luck. d00d. Seriously my
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veal parmesian is cooling, and it must be attended to, so discuss that with
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the Bagwhan. Ah.. Choo.
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Sir! Are you still alive?
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Boog. What is boog<6F>? Boog is the experience. An ultimate that weaves its
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way into and through our lives as the spider weaves its web, in desperate
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search for food. Boog is.
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<>--------------------------------------------------------------------------<>
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I have been told that Ed is round is good is not Ned is good is Ed.
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And Ned is not Ed is bad is not 8. 8 is round, is good. 88 is The Number.
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Then we were told that there were Edly people, and edliest of all be Ed
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Mertens, who has a round head. Edly people like /ed until /ed was /exiled,
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and is no more. - Ned Mertens, man with big dick.
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<>--------------------------------------------------------------------------<>
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Where to send the money: (c) Anarchy Inc.
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The Dark Side Ascii Express Line
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Call 408/245-SPAM and you will not be disappointed.
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But you might vomit.
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They're coming to take me away, ha ha.
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<..No!..No!..No!..Yes!..Yes!..Yes!..No!..No!..No!..Yes!..Yes!..Yes!..No!..>
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